Diary of a Night Auditor

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I’m open to the idea of paying you

- (via clientsfromhell)

Government

  • Person: I need a room for tonight
  • Me: Okay, with a full hot breakfast, complimentary wifi, and a late checkout the rate for tonight is 179.95 plus tax
  • Person: I need a government rate, I'm retired military, and I ~*always*~ get the government rate
  • Me: *Looks to the fourth wall* -_-
  • Me: I'm sorry, but unfortunately tonight is a blackout night and the federal per diem isn't available, the best I'd be able to do is AAA at 174.95 plus tax
  • Person: No, I ~*~ALWAYS~*~ get the government rate
  • Me: I do apologize, but like I said it is a blackout night and besides AAA and AARP we don't have any other discounts and the whole town is sold out because of a festival
  • Person: You keep saying it's a blackout, what the hell is a blackout?
  • Me: It's a night that a hotel sets aside when it expects to be extremely busy and have limited availability. It's actually quite common
  • Person: That's fucking bullshit, so you don't want me to stay here is that what you're saying?
  • Me: *internally thinking yes* Not at all, but I have one room left and like I said the best I can do is 174.95 plus tax
  • Person: Well, you just lost a Priority Club member buddy *leaves*
  • Walk-in person waiting behind: Wow, you took that great
  • Me: Thanks, how can I help you?
  • Walk-in person waiting behind: I will take that last room

Pro Tip for Travellers #983

kohlel:

When a front desk worker says the hotel has no vacancy, stand there and sigh to yourself. This tactic usually causes more rooms to appear.

Jul 2

lizq-vs-the-kitkatuprising:

free rewards programmes =/= discounts on rooms

free rewards programmes = earning points that you an redeem for free stays (or things online, not kidding you can get electronics and bags and stuff)

Unless you have magic powers…

nightauditnonsense:

When will people learn that no matter what member status you are sold out means sold out. I am not going to evict someone at 3 am and clean the room for you.

I actually have a member arriving in a few hours (way before housekeeping even gets here) and they want to check-in ~*~early~*~. We’ll see how that goes.

Hint: We’re 100% sold out so…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

More sports teams in-house.

T_T

When I think the day is going well…

thathotel:

….Then I see we oversold ourselves…

Jun 7
everydaylouie:

sleep schedules

Fyi.

everydaylouie:

sleep schedules

Fyi.

Jun 4
ohh-briana:

thundertard:

how can you fuck something like this up

..it’s a best western.. everything about best western is fucked up.

I have seen Hell

ohh-briana:

thundertard:

how can you fuck something like this up

..it’s a best western.. everything about best western is fucked up.

I have seen Hell

(Source: todeswalzer)

Jun 1

kentmcfuller:

do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man